Necessary Film Revisions: Pretty in Pink

Pretty in Pink hasn't aged well for me. I used to totally buy the starcrossed love affair between Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy, even though it doesn't make any sense at all. Although they hail from vastly dissimilar socioeconomic backgrounds and the fact that all of their friends hate each other's guts, the two characters share a mutual, yet completely inexplicable, attraction that culminates in one of the most awkward dates in cinema history. Seriously, this date is excruciating, especially since it is never made clear why they like each other in the first place. Yet, after a mildly okay-looking kiss, the exceedingly dull pair are OMG SO IN LOVE! Then, torn apart by the scorn of supporting characters who lack any plausible motivation whatsoever, the lovers triumphantly reunite at prom, much to the surprise of teenage girls who DON'T think Duckie's gay. Whatever. Not buying it.

Although I've soured on Pretty in Pink in general, I still have a soft spot for Steff, James Spader's deliciously evil yuppie character in the film. His glorious jerkitude is a pleasure to behold. My friend Eem, who shares my affinity for Steff, and I have joked for years about making a cut of Pretty in Pink that spotlights our favorite teenage devil. Well, I had a lot of free time this weekend. Ladies and gentlemen, the Steff edit.